Paralyzed

Today I had the scariest moment of my life.

Hands down.

No question.

I have never felt such terror, panic, and helplessness simultaneously.

I took the two girls to a family event at my job.  We waited in line for food. It was a long wait, and Lucy and Caroline were not happy about that.

We got back to our spot and the girls immediately wanted to go play games instead of eating.

I let them go. I could see them playing from where I sat.

A friend came to talk and I took my eyes off of Caroline for 30 seconds.

I looked back at where she was.

She was gone.

Not at the games. Not at our spot. Not with Lucy. Not with the other kids. Not at the food. Not in the parking lot.

I couldn't see her anywhere.

She was gone. And I freaked out.

Five seconds felt like five minutes. And with each passing second I imagined her getting farther and farther from me.

I imagined the worst. I felt paralyzed and frantic all at once.

It was awful.

Some of my friends could see in my face that something was very wrong. Thankfully one of them found her not too far from where we were.

She brought Caroline to my arms and I absolutely lost it. I hate to cry in general, but to do so in public rarely happens. But I lost it. And I continue to tear up whenever I even think about this event.

I am happy that it ended well. But I am still very shaken by how quickly it happened. I shudder to think about what could have happened.

So give your kids a hug. Stuff happens.

Lollipops!

At the end of our trip to the zoo, I bought the girls lollipops* or "wowwypops" as Caroline calls them.

*Side note: Steve made fun of me for calling them "suckers." Is that weird? Or is he just being an East Coast snob?

We don't really give the girls candy (that is not to say that we are health food nuts - they are no strangers to chicken nuggets, fruit snacks, etc.), but Caroline didn't need much convincing. She was extremely fired up about her first Tootsie Pop:

And then there was Lucy. She played it cool like she was a lollipop (sucker) connoisseur. 

Zoo

We became members at our local zoo this morning. It's a smaller zoo but there was still plenty to look at, especially if you are Lucy and Caroline. It seems that our girls are easily amused. In fact, they were most interested in the soda machines, water fountains, and the stone animal statues.

Both girls were also incredibly fond of these machines ...
which were totally unnecessary because the animals
were about ten feet away.

I don't think Caroline even realized that there were actual live animals for about 20 minutes.

That's her in the distance - running around
like a crazy person.

Lucy helped her out.

She finally took note of the bison. 

We saw a lot of the animals and then stopped for a snack.

For a final stop we hit the carousel.

It was a fun trip, and these two wackadoos were adequately tired out. Win-win.

Welcome Back, Billy!

This summer has been crazy and we haven't been able see some of our friends as regularly. Now that school is just about back in session and everyone is home, we were able to get together with Lucy's friend, Billy, and his family. Everyone enjoyed bagels, fruit, and cookies and then became sufficiently crazy so we headed outside.

Below are some pictures from the visit. Thank you for Billy and family for coming to play!

Oh my lord, I want to squeeze her cheeks!

Tossing the football around

The four children momentarily playing all together

These two make me laugh

No Need For Diapers

Two things:

1. This post will be without pictures. Believe me, you will thank me when you know the topic.

2. The title "No Need For Diapers" might make you think, "Oh, maybe Caroline is potty training." Unfortunately, no.

After a great morning playing with our friend Billy (more on that in another post), the girls had a tough couple of hours before Steve got home. I had reached my limit in terms of patience, so when Steve came home and Caroline went down for a nap I did what any good mother does: I ran from the house screaming. (I didn't actually run nor did I scream, but I did move quickly and efficiently to get out of the house.)

Once out of the house, I went to Target all by myself. This is beyond exciting in my world. I browsed in aisles that I never go in because they are usually just a blur as I sprint from spot to spot while throwing snacks to Lucy and Caroline in order to keep them happy and contained in the cart. When I came home I found out that Caroline hadn't actually gone to sleep but spent the hour and a half talking and reading books.

I went upstairs to get Caroline and hopefully get her to snuggle with me for a bit. Unfortunately I was greeted at the door with an unpleasant smell and a two year old WITHOUT A DIAPER. I will spare you the details, but we had to change sheets, throw out a pillow, clean the carpets, throw away books, and wash stuffed animals. Oh, and Caroline was immediately thrown in the tub.

Caroline seemed unaffected by the three ring circus that was going on around her, but Lucy loved the entertainment and said, "Hey, Dad! It looks like everyone in the house is cleaning up poop!"

Dear lord.

If you are reading this and didn't clean up poop today then I say to you: congratulations.

If you are reading this and you did clean up poop today then I say to you: solidarity, sister.

Visit

While Steve was at two-a-days for football, I took the girls up to Berkshire to visit some friends. We had lunch with Keenan, Tammy, and Marc and then took the kids outside to play. It became hotter and the kids became very "floppy." So we came inside to cool off and watch "The Lorax." Look at those faces. They are comatose.

Lucy snuggled right up next to Keenan

Caroline held this pose for about 5 minutes before
running around and launching herself into
the couch a million times.

After some down time in the AC, we headed over to the girls' old school to visit. They happily played with their old friends and teachers - it was so nice to see it.

We then went back to Tammy's to play with our old friends Donny and Brodie. In previous visits it has taken the kids a while to warm up to each other, but this time they hit the ground running.

Before we left I made Lucy and Donny do the obligatory picture. It took no persuading at all.

CHEESE! These smiles make me laugh every time.

Thank you to Tammy, Marc, and Keenan for hosting! We love you and miss you all and hope to see you again soon!

Random

After a brief two year hiatus, our iPhones have made a comeback. We got rid of them right after we had Caroline in order to save some money. For a variety of reasons, it now makes sense for us to have them again. So I charged the battery and found a treasure: old random pictures that I took right before and right after Caroline was born. I love looking at old pictures. I love the memories that I have with each one and the feeling that I get when I look at it.

So here are a few gems that I found:

Lucy - about 18 months old

Officer Soden playing at school

Caroline - just hours old and in my arms

Smiley baby!

Lucy and her BFF from Berkshire, Donny

Just woke up

Lucy plays at the playground while ...

Caroline snoozes

Lucy loving the pool and her goggles

I love that raincoat and I will be sad when Caroline outgrows it.
Lucy is also carrying the first doll she ever named. What was
its name you ask? Booty.

Caroline playing in the exersaucer - aka "The Circle
of Neglect"

Lucy after she colored on herself with permanent marker

My girls

Nature

Confession: I don't particularly care for the great outdoors. I enjoy being outside, but it has to be on my own terms. For example, the idea of camping sets off all sorts of alarms in my head. No shower? No toilet? It's not to say that I couldn't do it. I could. But I would be fairly miserable to be around. Steve would probably love to go camping, and I have told him that he is welcome to go. Alone. Because even he will admit that he would probably have more fun without me.

Another example: hiking. I have tried to like hiking. In fact, I have tried several times. For five years we lived at the base of a mountain with well maintained trails. It couldn't have been more convenient and picturesque. But for some reason I just can't enjoy it. My mind would start to wander. (Do you think there are bears around? I know there are rattlesnakes in this area. What do I do if I see one? Wait, I don't even know what a rattlesnake looks like.) So I have this anxiety and then it is combined with the fact that it just seems like a slow, awful trek to see a beautiful sight for five minutes before trudging back down the mountain. I know this sounds just awful and pessimistic, and I have tried to change it. But I can't. I don't like hiking. I would rather go for a run if I want some physical activity. (And yes, I know this seems a bit backwards.)

It is this attitude that made me laugh out loud when someone suggested that we join our local nature center. And as it turns out, I couldn't have been more wrong. Our local nature center is awesome - even for faux lovers of nature such as myself. It has some great trails through the woods (that aren't too long or hilly), an amazing playground that is built right into the side of a hill, some cool exhibits, and a cute little farm with a variety of mainly barnyard animals. It is incredibly kid and family friendly and our membership has paid for itself about sixteen times over.

This morning we headed to the nature center for a few hours and had a great time. First we took to a trail or two:

Then we had to set up for the obligatory "Hey we're sisters and we're having a great time!" shot. It didn't work out so well.

Here is Caroline having a fit at the suggestion that she stand next to her sister and try it again.

Here are the ladies learning about the local birds:

And here is Caroline's first attempt to slow down the trip. She tried to make us stay by the bird sign by sitting down, so we left without her. She called our bluff and lost.

Lesson learned, right?

No.

Here is her second attempt to stop:

I will sit on this bench and you will have to stay with me.
Hey, where is everyone?

We eventually made it to the playground.  I failed to get a picture of the place itself, but it is great and has a lot of different activities for kids of all ages.

Steve putting Lucy to work. Unfortunately, she didn't really understand the
physics of the swing and it came back and nearly knocked her into the rocks
behind her.

Loving the slide.

We decided to push it a little and head to the barnyard area to see Caroline's favorite animals, the horses. (What's another public meltdown among parents, right?) First we checked out the pigs, llamas, cows, and donkeys. Then we headed to a place that we ALWAYS go to: the wooded area right by the chickens with rocks and sticks to play with! Every time we go to the nature center (or pretty much anywhere for that matter) the girls have to stop and play with sticks.

The horses were next. Although they normally come right up to the fence, today they were eating and uninterested.

When Caroline made a third attempt to sit down and stop the Soden train, we knew it was time to leave.

So we saw the bunnies and the otters on the way out and headed home to eat lunch.

It's official. I love nature*.

*As long as it is in "center form" and doesn't actually require me to hike or go to the bathroom outside.